July 24, 2003
So last night I got a call from a good friend I graduated with. She’d had a bad day at work, seemingly similar to quite a few people from my class. You know, I don’t recall a class on how to deal with bad work environments or questionable bosses. No one mentioned that the first job of our careers might not be the dream job we always imagined it to be.
And I never realized how hard this pharmacy residency might be so hard. I’m so tired that I can’t think straight anymore. And these 12 hour shifts are killing me (and leaving very little time for all the reading and projects I need to get done).
So about that conversation; It was good to have a conversation with someone who wasn’t from work. With someone who still remembered what intense learning could be like. With someone who knew what it was like to be a new pharmacist. With someone I’d had numerous late night phone chats working through our frustrations together. It was great, but at over 3 hours after a 12 hour shift, it left me a little tired today. So once again, my project did not get worked on. Ah well, I think I work best with that looming deadline anyway.
July 21, 2003
I’ve been doing these online prayer devotionals for a few days now and quite enjoy them. Today’s was based on Matthew 12:38-42. At first I didn’t get the last part about Jonah and the Queen of the south, so I did a bit of digging and explored through a variety of translations and commentaries. Basically, I think Jesus’ point was that in both cases the people needed very little evidence before they repented. That the less ‘taught’/knowledgeable were far more accepting of the Truth. This reminded my of a song that’s been playing lots on the radio lately …
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July 14, 2003
I jumped across a few blogs before I found this – it needs repeating. The sequence was this: Leighton, Captain Crunch, Little Bear, Cre8d Design.
Years ago in New York City, I got into a taxicab with an Iranian taxi driver, who could hardly speak English.
I tried to explain to him where I wanted to go, and as he was pulling his car out of the parking place, he almost got hit by a van that on its side had a sign reading: The Pentecostal Church. He got real upset and said, “That guy’s drunk.” I said, “No, he’s a Pentecostal. Drunk in the spirit, maybe, but not with wine.” He asked, “Do you know about church?” I said, “Well, I know a little bit about it; what do you know?” It was a long trip from one end of Manhattan to the other, and all the way down he told me one horror story after another that he’d heard about the church. He knew about the pastor that ran off with the choirmaster’s wife, the couple that had burned the church down and collected the insurance – every horrible thing you could imagine.
We finally get to where I am going, I paid him, and as we’re standing there on the landing I gave him an extra large tip. He got a suspicious look in his eyes – he’d been around you know. I said, “Answer me this one question.” Now keep in mind, I’m planning on witnessing to him. “If there was a God and he had a church, what would it be like?” He sat there for a while making up his mind to play or not.
Finally he sighed and said, “Well, if there was a God and he had a church – they would care for the poor, heal the sick, and they wouldn’t charge you money to teach you the Book.” I turned around and it was like an explosion in my chest. “Oh, God,” I just cried out, I couldn’t help it. I thought, “Oh Lord, they know. The world knows what it’s supposed to be like. The only ones that don’t know is the Church.”
When you joined the kingdom, you expected to be used of God. I’ve talked to thousands of people, and almost everybody has said, “When I signed up, I knew that caring for the poor was part of it – I just kind of got weaned off of it, because no one else was doing it.”
Folks, I’m not saying, “Do something heroic.” I’m not saying, “Take on some high standard, sell everything you have and go.” Now, if Jesus tells you that, that’s different. But I’m not saying that. I’m just saying, participate. Give some portion of what you have – time, energy, and money, on a regular basis – to this purpose, to redeem people, to care for people. Share your heart and life with somebody that’s not easy to sit in the same car with. Are you hearing me? That’s where you’ll really see the kingdom of God.
John Wimber, Cutting Edge, Vol. 7, No. 1, Spring 2003, p16.
July 13, 2003
Prayer with purpose, with intention, with passion … praying continuously.
I watched church on TV this morning and that was the message. It hit home, simply because my prayer isn’t fervent. I went to church tonight; the 5 minute walk from home one, the one that’s on TV, the one that sent me a package in the mail. And the service was really good. Some people were worshiping with flags, some were dancing in the aisles, some clapped, some sat, some lifted hands, some shouted.
And then one of the pastors came up and told a story of how a friend of someone in the congregation had recently been cured of her cancer. So he asked anyone with physical healing needs to raise their hands, and those near to them to lay hands and pray for healing. Now sometimes in ‘these situations’ I feel awkward or hesitant but not this evening. I went over to this lady with fluorescent green running shorts and prayed for her. I didn’t know her name or ask what was her healing need. I didn’t introduce myself or any of those other formalities I usually find myself going through. So I prayed and then prayer was over. She said thank you. And we all continued in worship. Not really a blatant extraordinary situation but maybe God works ordinarily too.
If you would, please pray for the lady in the fluorescent green running shorts.
July 13, 2003
My Utmost for His Highest, O.Chambers
In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord. – Isaiah 6:1
Our soul’s personal history with God is often an account of the death of our heroes. Over and over again God has to remove our friends to put Himself in their place, and that is when we falter, fail, and become discouraged. Let me think about this personally-when the person died who represented for me all that God was, did I give up on everything in life? Did I become ill or disheartened? Or did I do as Isaiah did and see the Lord?
My vision of God is dependent upon the condition of my character. My character determines whether or not truth can even be revealed to me. Before I can say, “I saw the Lord,” there must be something in my character that conforms to the likeness of God. Until I am born again and really begin to see the kingdom of God, I only see from the perspective of my own biases. What I need is God’s surgical procedure-His use of external circumstances to bring about internal purification.
Your priorities must be God first, God second, and God third, until your life is continually face to face with God and no one else is taken into account whatsoever. Your prayer will then be, “In all the world there is no one but You, dear God; there is no one but You.”
Keep paying the price. Let God see that you are willing to live up to the vision.
