Wind Blows Deeply

I very well may have blogged on this topic before, but it has been haunting me for some time now. So, after some procrastination, I have plopped myself down in front of the computer and am determined to get this thing written.

I happen to think I’m a darn good pharmacist. And, at times, I truly enjoy being a pharmacist. I’m just not sure I’m completely passionate about being a pharmacist–and somewhere in my deep dark recesses I seem to think I should be passionate about what I do.

I’m not confident in the fact that I’m doing what God wants me to be doing (more on this later), but I trust that He will use what I am doing in His plan. I don’t know if I’m right, but I’ve formulated the idea that God wants us where we are fully using the talents and abilities He has endowed us with. Perhaps my problem exists as I blur the line between my definitions of passionate and passion and passions and calling and vocation.

And I’ve been reading Oswald Chambers’ My Utmost for His Highest, and for 3 days in a row (August 3-5) Chambers has discussed purpose. A few excerpts…

The great thing to remember is that we go up to Jerusalem to fulfill God’s purpose, not our own.
At the beginning of the Christian life we have our own ideas as the what God’s purpose is–”I am meant to go here or there,” “God has called me to do this special work”; and we go and and do the things, and still the big compelling of God remains. The work we do is of no account, it is as much scaffolding compared with the big compelling of God.

… if you have let Him bring you to the end of your self-sufficiency then He can choose you to go with Him to Jerusalem, and that will mean the fulfilling of purposes which He does not discuss with you.
As Christians we are not out for our own at all, we are out for the cause of God, which can never be our cause. We do not know what God is after, but we have to maintain our relationship with Him whatever happens.
The main thing about Christianity is not the work we do, but the relationship we maintain and the atmosphere produced by that relationship.

The call of God can never be stated explicitly; it is implicit. The call of God is like the call of the sea, no one hears it but the one who has the nature of the sea in him. It cannot be stated definitely what the call of God is to, because His call is to be in comradeship with Himself for His own purposes, and the test is to believe that God know what He is after. The things that happen do not happen by chance, they happen entirely in the decree of God. God is working out His purposes.
If we are in communion with God and recognize that He is taking us into His purposes, we shall no longer try to find out what His purposes are. As we go on in the Christian life it gets simpler, because we are less inclined to say–Now why did God allow this and that? Behind the whole thing lies the compelling of God. “There’s a divinity that shapes our ends.” A Christian is one who trusts the wits and the wisdom of God, and not his own wits. If we have a purpose of our own, it destroys the simplicity and the leisureliness which ought to characterize the children of God.

So that’s that. I still question my materialism. I don’t understand why I take my family and friends for granted. I regret that so often I fail to allow God first priority. I do not want to live with these regrets–or any regrets for that matter.

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