Wanting me
It might just be something like The Taming of the Shrew.
I could probably change the oil in my car if I tried, and if I had those ramp things to drive up onto. I can locate hidden fuse panels. I can do basic carpentry, home renovations and recover furniture. I can whip up a storm in the kitchen and fix the wobbly leg on the table. Not only can I unplug the toilet (plunger or snake), I have been known to fix assorted other plumbing problems. People say I have all sorts of obscure knowledge tucked away. And if I don’t have it tucked away, I can find it in mere moments. I’ve revived crashed computers, and like to think I’ve got ways around the complex, redundant, and highly illogical Microsoft brain.
My mother says I’ve been stubbornly independent since I was a wee one — and perhaps this is the problem. Not only my problem, but a problem of many women today. No longer are we damsels in distress. We resolve our own conflicts, fight our own battles, and find solutions to our problems.
So my question is this: Do you, my elusive fish in the sea, want me? Is this self-reliance intimidating? Am I less approachable? Or have I become more ‘one of the guys’ than I ever intended?
Albeit, I have been known to look for love in all the wrong places. Not bad places, but just places were love (let alone like) wasn’t looking me bad in the face. And when love/like was looking my way, I was staring off to some other corner of the universe.
So here am I – one among many – silently shouting that I want you to want me. And while I hold onto the dream of my knight in shining armour coming to rescue me, I somehow think I’ve already rescued myself.
My dear, you are ANYTHING but ‘one of the guys’. How can someone so beautiful and gentle be considered anything less than a woman? You may be independant, but there *are* some men who enjoy that about a woman: no lonely little puppy dog who craves attention all the time and follows him around. And no one to freak out over every little problem that arises. Hey – maybe you’ll land one of those metrosexual types that stay home and take care of the kids while you work!
Just know that your versatility is what makes you special. God is working on your man as you speak! He probably just needs a little more work before he meets you. :)
Thanks Crys. I appreciate your comments.
I meant the post to be something more generally, although I certainly have pondered some of the questions/thoughts expressed. The post stemmed from a discussion a while back with some of the Windy-peg gang … and so the post is really a collaboration work.
As a guy, who likes to think his armour still has some shine on it, I struggle with many of these same issues. I can fight my own battles as a man, and yet I still get by with my household duties of cooking and cleaning that generations of men before me needed a wife for.
I fear that I’ve responded too well to the call to be an independant yet sensitive man that I’m too independant to be satisfied with any woman, and too sensitive to illicit deeper attraction from women at all.
Usually I just shrug this all off, and figure that I haven’t met the right girl yet, and then I can sleep at night.
Also, I live in Ontario, where the average marrying age is higher than in the prairies, so there is slightly less of a push.
“Also, I live in Ontario, where the average marrying age is higher than in the prairies, so there is slightly less of a push.”
I suspected as much, and have said as much, but it is nice to hear it confirmed from an Ontarioan (??)
Hey Jen! Here’s the link to a blog that was just begun but I think will prove good reading (and close to your own heart in a way too)
http://onefingerinthethroat.blogspot.com/
I’m still Mennonite, so there is still more pressure than normal, but not as much as if I were living “out west”. Not to mention being a single pastor automatically makes me the most eligible bachelor in the congregation.
We pronounce it “Ontarian”.