I’ve been thinking a lot about faith these last few weeks. This post has been stewing in a deep cluster of neurons, preparing itself for public audiences.
This past February, when I helped organize a pharmacy storeroom in Africa, there were many unknowns. Where would we find affordable building supplies in the face of a lumber embargo? Where would we store the inventory on a temporary basis? How would shelves get built with constant interruptions and offers to “help”? Could it be done in three weeks or so?
But lumber was found. A classroom was turned into a storeroom. Connections were made with the national health department. A national holiday was declared, providing time for a building blitz. All told, “Extreme Makeover: Pharmacy Edition” came off with very few hitches indeed.
Some people had doubts, assuming that, at best, only a portion of the project would be completed. But I, however naively, just assumed it would all work out.
Now, in preparing to return to Africa, I have set out to raise $10,000. A sum which is simultaneously very large and fairly reasonable. I have been overwhelmed with people’s generosity to date. People I haven’t seen or talked to in ages have donated quite freely. I probably have about 30% of my total.
I have also been overwhelmed with the opportunity to share the story about my trip. My mother has been given permission to post something at her workplace (with the federal government). The national hospital pharmacy society will be including a section in their January newsletter. My health district will be running an article in this coming week’s mailing. I will share my stories at church after Christmas.
Even though I won’t be leaving for about two months, a part of me has doubts about reaching my support goal. Is $10,000 too much to be asking of people? Of friends and family and mere acquaintances who are already strapped in this economic crisis?
Those questions don’t truly compare to the biggest one of all: could I, the self-reliant, independent one, truly step back and allow myself to depend on others? Does supporting myself somehow negate what God wants to do? Would doing so be saying “no thank you” to God’s outstretched hand?
So in the middle of my faltering financial faith, God stepped in to show me a few things. I took my car into the shop seeing as it was making odd noises. The prognosis: nothing wrong. [$25 vs. hundreds] I returned a few previous purchases that weren’t quite what I was looking for but found items that were better suited. [$70 savings] I made $1 returning carts in the grocery store parking lot.
Ordinarily these things wouldn’t have caught my attention. In this case, I think I was supposed to see that God would meet my needs, finances included. God will provide. God my Provider.
