Once upon a time but not so long ago there was a bedbug. The bedbug’s name was Bub. That’s right, Bub the bedbug. (Say that ten times fast.)
Bub the bedbug came from a great line of bedbugs. There was Bob, Ben, Brad, Bart, Burt and Bix, just to name a few. Bub the bedbug grew up hearing stories about how Bob, Ben, Brad, Bart, Burt and Bix had to survive solely by their wits. Unlike Bub, these bedbugs hadn’t developed resistance to the noxious chemicals used by the evil, lumbering human giants that lived in the land. They had to scuttle and scurry, then bury below to avoid sure death.
Over the years, Bub’s line of bedbugs had been fortunate. A few bedbugs who were worried about the fate of their clan began to study those horrible noxious chemicals and also why some of their peers lived, despite unintentional exposure.
Now it is important to understand that bedbugs have a knack for understanding basic genetic manipulations, permutations and combinations. As a result, Bub was the fortunate recipient of both this knowledge and a superior genetic makeup (aka resistance to the afore mentioned noxious chemicals).
And so, night after night, Bub the bedbug would scuttle and scurry, to and fro, feeding and feasting to his little heart’s content. Then, in the wee hours of the morning, deep inside the bed of one of those giant humans, Bub the bedbug would settle in his bed beside his brother Bernie and listen with rapt attention to the story of Bob, Ben, Brad, Bart, Burt and Bix and their spectacular genetic manipulations, permutations and combinations. And then Bub the bedbug would fall fast asleep.
The end.
[Inspired by Monday's episode of The Current (CBC Radio 1).]
